Monday, September 13, 2010

Auto Cannibalism

If you were a fly on my wall, well....firstly you'd get swatted or sprayed to death with half a can of ozone destroying agents, but if you managed to live through that you'd hear some pretty weird stuff. 
Yesterday, for instance, you might have heard a disgusted scream followed by "EUGH.... Tell your father I hate him!"
Now hold on, just let me stop you there....I can see you reaching for the phone to call social services...... both my daughter and her father were killing themselves laughing. 
You see I have a bad habit, I chew my fingers, (auto cannibalism my hubby calls it) and every evening you can hear him moan "Stop chewing!" about a million times. I'll even hide under the cushions to nibble at that loose bit of flesh hanging by my nail....disgusting, isn't it!
Well the other evening he'd been threatening me with the "stop 'n grow," foul stuff that you paint on your fingers and it''ll make you sick if you get even the faintest taste of it, and I'd been my usual adult self going "Ner, ner de ner ner" back at him when....he pounced! He grabbed my hand and painted it with the vile sticky stuff!
I, of course, just muttered something about not needing such a childish disincentive and looked down my nose at him as I carried on with my crochet. 
Half an hour later, I'd forgotten (is this a sign of impending senility?) and stuck my finger in my mouth for a good chew........."EUGH.... Tell your father I hate him!"
But, to get away from my bad habits let me show you what Kelli has forced me to start....


Cutting out and sticking down all the little pieces is fun, I admit......but now she wants me to hand stitch the fabric edges in blanket stitch. I tell you, I'm surrounded by bullies!

11 comments:

  1. I got all excited and thought this was going to be a post about eating cars. Oh well.

    Its not all bad though - you have given me an excellent hint for my husband's nail-biting. Oh and some beautiful applique eye candy to look at - its beautiful!

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  2. Just wait till you get used to the taste and get addicted to Stop and Grow as well as chewing fingers. That applique is a winner!! I love it!

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  3. Hi Clair and good to see you in blog land :) Still want to catch up with you one day and grab a coffee and chat :) I often think of you and so glad I found you. :)

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  4. Love the colours and that bird is so cute. I cracked up reading this...probably in part because it's also given me the idea to stop my hubby chewing his nails. See what you've started?

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  5. How about you and I have a bit of a competition to see who can grow their nails longest by the end of the year. The loser gives the winner something precious from their fabric stash...... are you ready?
    PS: I actually grew quite accustomed to (almost enjoyed) Stop n Grow... urghhhh

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  6. hahaha poor Clair! The birdie looks gorgeous though...love the colours, can't wait to see it when it is finished! :)

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  7. How funny! I also chew on my fingers, but my husband hasn't caught me at it.
    I love the whimsical design you are working on as well as the bright colors! Be sure to post a photo when you're finished!

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